I have been with my one true love for almost 3 years now. (3 years in July). I know he is the one that I am going to marry. I am the biggest daydreamer about my wedding. I wouldn’t say I’m obsessive about it, I just love thinking about it all the time. It brings a smile to my face and it makes me really happy. I cannot watch a wedding video or proposal without bawling my eyes out so I don’t know how I would handle either of my own. I know I have time in my life before any of this happens since im only 21. BUT A GIRL CAN DREAM :). But for now I just have to enjoy my time in the moment, love him every second- as he does to me. I need to be content with where I am now, or else I will never be content … even then.
I don’t know if it’s because of the example my parents have shown me throughout my upbringing. I don’t know if it’s just the way I am. But every time I am getting close to you I feel like I need to pull away and withdraw. It’s like I tighten up and don’t want to feel love or feel any touch. You’ve never given me a reason to feel that way and it bothers me that I do feel that way. I come to see you with every intention not to react in that way, but when it actually comes time for the initial touch, hug, kiss, cuddle, I immediately push away. In the beginning it wasn’t like that. And I don’t WANT it to be like that. That is why I am so confused. You do so much for me, you are such a gentleman, you are completely loving and respectful, and I wouldn’t ask for any other man ever in my entire life. But I cannot understand why I feel and react the way that I do.
I need to try to make a conscious effort to stop this before it ruins us.It already has chipped away at something in our relationship and I don’t want it to take over. I need to let go and let myself be loved. But it’s easier said than done.
That awkward moment when your Health Sciences instructor (I can’t call her professor, because she isn’t one) says something really stupid and you soooo want to tell her she’s stupid. But you keep it inside, eating you alive.
BTW, ulcers are NOT caused by stress. Ulcers are caused by Helicobater pylori infections.
Thank you, very deserving, Nobel Prize laureate physician Barry Marshall (aka the Bruce Banner of microbiology).
actually they can be caused by stress because stress increases the amount of acid in your stomach lining which causes an ulcer.
-Sincerely, someone with ulcers.
I am so happy that I finally got over my fear. I faced it. I grew. And I realized that I am stronger than I thought. I am so so so so so happy. I have come to realize that you cannot let people control your life. You have every bit of control in your own life and sometimes people try to take that away from you. You can’t let that happen. Sometimes you don’t even know that they are doing it. And before you know it, they are controlling your life and preoccupying your thoughts in a negative way. But I stopped the cycle and I feel like i started my life over again. It’s been a weird process but I am loving it.
I have lost power and have been stuck in my house for days…. I don’t know when life will be back to normal on the east coast… but it definitely wont happen soon. My dad finally got a generator and I am just thankful that my family and friends are safe. It is heartbreaking to see the devastation people have gone through and what people have lost.
I hope everybody is safe
Okay, so the most stressful week of my semester is over…. now all i feel like doing is laying in my bed and sleeping. Except… I still have homework, notes, etc. haha. I can’t remember what the word FUN means… I am in desperate need of a PARTY. ASSSAPPPP. before my mind bursts..
Tomorrow I start mentoring students in a middle school. I am super excited to get to know these kids for a whole year and help them in every way that I can. Some of these kids do not even know that going to high school is an OPTION and some don’t even know the first thing about college. I can’t wait to make a difference in a child’s life.
So… I just got really excited because one of my BESTEST friends from high school is on TUMBLR and I completely died when I saw this!! And she is so far away from me right now :(. I love you Car. SO MUCH. And I love that you are blogging while so far away… it makes it seem like you really aren’t gone… but you really are. soo…
Anyway, keep posting and i miss you!!!! mwah xoxooxxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxxo
that’s her tumblr!! follow her she posts really amazing things about her studying abroad in extraordinary places!! (i think it’s been London, Ireland, and France now) hehe
It’s been so long since I have even been on my tumblr. I was so surprised to see that I still have over 100 followers haha!! So thank you so much to those of you who still stayed on my boring tumblr. I truly miss being an avid tumblr, so I plan to really be posting a lot now. <3
So, stay tuned <3